21 Things I Learned From Having A Boyfriend

This Month is Me and my Boyfriend River’s one year anniversary and I thought it would be cool to share some of the things I have learned over the past year. So without further ado..

Here are 21 things I have learned from having a boyfriend.

P.S. I put a couple pictures of us in here, so hope you enjoy those:)

 

 

 

 

1. You don't have to tell them your entire Past

Now I am sure that some boys want to know everything that happened to you before you were dating. And there are some things that should be told. But there are also some things that doesn't cause any growth in the relationship that frankly doesn't matter anymore. There are times where I realized oh River doesn't like hearing about all my past crushes that I never even talked to...

2. You are not always going to agree

I actually heard an example of this from Rivers grandfather.  His grandfather said then when he was first married he took the idea of becoming one too literally. As in that him and his wife were to become one mind. He said that they literally argued until 2 in the morning about stupid little things that they didn't see eye to eye on. This among other things destroyed their relationship and they got divorced. It's sad but true. Now there are things that you should agree on. An example is me and River both agree that abortion is terrible wrong and we both know that that is something that we would never do. Same thing with your significant other being a Christian. You want to have the same views on things that will change both of your lives. But arguing over little things like music or the dishes should not be something that needs to be the same for both of you as long as you can still work together.

3. Don’t give into anything you don’t want to

Who would have thought that your boyfriend could be the hardest peer pressure that you have to fight against. Or maybe it's the other way around. I learned early in a relationship how hard it is to give into things that you did not necessarily want, these things don't have to be bad, just remember to be who you are. And don't be afraid to say no. Boundaries are a big one. Purity is so hard! I can tell you that from just one year of being in a relationship. Me and River made a list of boundaries early in our relationship that helped us know what to expect and not make decisions on the fly. An accountability friend also helps a lot also. Know what you believe.

 

4. Don’t expect them to read your mind

Now this one may seem a little silly but it's something I found myself doing more then I would like to admit. I would be upset over something little and then sit there silently waiting for him to ask what was wrong and comfort me. Of course he had no idea and I would then get even more upset and then blow up at him. The poor guy would have no idea what happened and I would be to upset at this point to explain. The best thing to do is explain what is going on straightforward. Because unfortunately men don't have mind reading capabilities. Yes, even if they are your boyfriend.  

5. You are still going to be lonely sometimes

Before i had a boyfriend,  I heard about people who were lonely and depressed yet did have a boyfriend. And I would be so confused how someone could be depressed and have a boyfriend. But now I understand. Having a boyfriend is amazing! You have someone who loves you and will cuddle with you and share life with someone. That doesn't mean you will spend every second with them. And i would say it wouldn't be healthy to. Definitely dating in high school you have to live your life. Because if something all of a sudden happened then without them what would your life look like? It's ok to be alone but being lonely is a choice. So if you are alone and miss them then that's ok but think what can you do to grown independently and when you see them you can tell them all about it.  

 

 

 

 

 

6. They won’t be perfect

People tell me this more then I have told myself. I would always tell my friends oh he is perfect. But no one is perfect. If he was perfect then I wouldn't deserve him because let's be real I am a messed up person. What I realized I was saying though is he is perfect for me.

7. Love is Hard

What do you think of when someone says love. Some people think of marriage. Others a cute coffee date. Others don't know what love really is. No one things about staying up all night taking care of their crying baby so the other can go to work tomorrow. No one imagines love as holding each other crying their eyes out because the other can't handle their life at the moment. Divorce is so high these days because as soon as love gets hard people don't want it anymore.   The one thing I learned that is love is.. love is hard. But that is what it makes it so worth it.

8. Don't expect too much from them

River is so cute and he tries his best to do what he can for me but at the beginning of our relationship I expected to much. They are human too, they don't have a lot of money and they go to school. They can't just drop everything to hang out with you or surprise you every week with a prepaid date. Sometimes he would talk to his friends more then me when I was with him and it tore me apart. My love language is time and so it's always hard when he can't spend time with me. But you have to let them live their life. And when he does surprise you for a movie date it's wonderful.

9. They can be just as emotional as you

No matter how many times that River says he is not that emotional I know it's not true. It's one of the reason I love him so much though. He has a huge heart. I first realized it when he would cry in sad movies or was just having a hard day. Guys need to be held and loved too.

10. Your family's unite

I remember the first time I met every single one of his family. And I loved them all. But like families they can be quarrels and personality clashes. For the most part it's wonderful though. It's so cool going to family gathers and getting introduced as Rivers girlfriend or introducing him as my boyfriend. Now we are really just a part of each other's families. His mom has had the greatest impact on me and she is like a second mother to me. I know that having that is special and will make the future easier.

 

 

 

 

11. They are very touchy and visual

This is the way God made boys but it can make things hard in a dating relationship. This is where the saying no and keeping boundaries is a good thing. Rivers love language is touch so i do try to make an effort to hold his hand or give him random kisses to satisfy his love language.

12. Having a boyfriend won’t solve all your problems

This goes along with a few other things i talked about. A lot of relationships fail because they will a boyfriend or spouse will solve all their problems. This is definitely not true. If you want a boyfriend just because you are lonely, then when you get one that loneliness will become even worse when they aren't there. My advice would be try to solve all the problems you can before getting in a relationship just because it will be easier on both of you.

13. They probably won’t talk as much as you

This is one of the things that annoys me sometimes. I'll be talking to texting River like a paragraph and he will respond with just “ok”. As time has gone on I have realized that is just how guys communicate. They say what needs to be said that's it. Unless it's about something they love like cars.. Then you will see how much a guy really can talk.

14. They can be gentlemen and  romantics

There are so many stereotypes that I have learned are not true and this is one of them. Boys really do like be gentlemen and be romantic. They love when the guy gets the girl. Which makes sense because he got you.

15. They do actually want to have kids

Oh my gosh hearing your boyfriend talk about having kids one day is the cutest thing ever! A couple weeks at my youth group they asked us all what we looked forward to in our future. And pretty much all the guys said they couldn't wait to be dads. And then the girls were all talking about their careers and houses. IT was really cute and funny.

16.  Not all of them are scared of commitment


I had seen so many TV shows or just heard of guys who would run away at just the word commitment. Now i don't know if i just picked well or that isn't true but me and River based our relationship on commitment. We both knew that we would only date someone that we saw the potential of marriage in.

  

17. They will become your best friend

They say marry your best friend. I knew River for 3 months before i started to fall in love with him and a we started dating a year after we met. But that year before we were dating me and Him became best friends. We did everything together, and since we were in band together at performance you could always find us in the back talking and talking and talking, or at classes they would have to shush us a lot. And somehow we always managed to be in a group together. Neither of us had really an other friends there so it was just us most of the time. Sometimes it was hard though because he came to me with all of his girl problems. By the time i told him how i felt we were best friends and that made the whole thing easier. Now we can tell each other anything and it's really an amazing thing to be in love with your best friend.

18. You have to put their needs before yours

This is really really hard.  Our sinful nature is all about the me and only me. That's probably why god made marriage and relationships someplace to practice giving. That's how it works though. You give to them and they give to you. It only works if you both give though, Another reason why this can be so hard.

19. Keep God in the center of your relationship

This is the most important thing I have learned. God fixes everything. If you keep him in the center then everything will work smother and he will bless you. You won't fight as much. And there won't be as much to disagree with. Pray together, read the bible together. Me and Riv try to do this regularly and it helps so much God will bring you even closer in spirit then you could even hope.

20. It's hard not to idolize them

This is something I struggle with daily. It all has to do with my relationship with God. Everyday I have to make sure God is in a higher place than River. It's hard because I can see River and feel River and hear and Love River emotionally so much easier than I can see, feel, hear or love God.  I can promise you can do it though.

21. Marriage

Marriage. I feel like this word is always somewhere in a serious relationship. I'm not going to go into details but i have learned to wait until you are ready. Pray a lot. Make sure this is the person you want to be with the rest of your life. The time and decision is different for everyone.  Make sure your parents support you, It will make everything so much easier. It's a representation of Christ so do it to honor

him.

Well there is twenty-one things i have learned over the first year of having a boyfriend. I know that there are so many more things that i did not mention and i also know i have so so so much more to learn.

Marci