The Future

Hello Everyone, 

Just wanted to give an update on life and the future of this blog and my writing. 

I took a bit of a maternity leave and this August we welcomed our second baby boy. I've been doing a lot of reflecting of where I want to go as an author. And where this blog has lead me. 

I've been blogging for 10 years now. I started my first blog when I was 15 and now I'm 25. It's helped me grow in my writing and helped me share my writing with the world. But it also has been super hard for me. It's made me feel like I've had to put poetry out like a endless vending machine and I've noticed my poetry is not always to the standard I've wanted it to be. Especially when I only get good views posting almost every single day. 

And the most success I've ever had was when I scheduled 30 days of poems back in February 2023. And that was the month my son almost died in the PICU of RSV. And it took me months to even look at my blog again after thaf. And I've never been able to recreate that viewership. My goal has always been becoming an author and sharing my writing with the world. 

All that to say I just finished my third poetry book! And I've decided I'm going to focus my time on writing my books. I will be releasing my third poetry book in the new year. And then I have 2 more poetry books in the works after. And then I have two fiction novels I'm working on as well. 

So I won't be posting on this blog weekly anymore. I want to be an author and I want to focus on that. I've loved blogging but I've outgrown it. I will still be posting on here every once in a while with updates, thoughts and poetry. 

Thank you for being on this journey with me and I will keep everything on my website updated and a place to see what I'm up to. My Instagram will also be a huge primary posting place. And I can't wait for you all to read my poems and story's in book form! 

Marciella Aida Pauls 

The way things should be

I feel so alone this morning
But that loneliness makes me write more words to you.

I placed my plans into a mans hands
only to discover he wasn't a man from the beginning.

But there is still time I suppose
as long as I don't let the what ifs take over.

I can only laugh as much as my mother lets me
But who's fault is that really.

I blame my life on everyone else.

And that's because
Things never turn out the way I think they should be.

M.A.A

Dancing

if you ever regret loving me remember that I loved you first without thinking you would ever kiss my lips.


and that maybe in 7 years none of your skin will remember mine but my god your soul will cry out for me in the night.

remember I won' be there to comfort it.


i bet you'll wear that scarf i made you for your birthday and tell your friends that you bought it,
because you can't bear to see something I made be thrown away

to bad you'll never see me make our children then

if you ever leave me remember what life was like without me


who are you going to call when you are mad at the world,
who are you going to love when the stars dance.

because i'll be dancing with them.


m.a.a

No Longer a Savior

I'm picking up pieces of my heart from the floor

You want to help but stepping closer will just crush the pieces smaller

I never thought you would be the problem yet i never needed you more

You just stand there watching  

 

You can only say sorry so many times before it no longer is a savior   

I wonder what she is thinking right now

I've never seen you look at me that way before

I'm not sure if its good or bad..

Or just another broken heart hitting the ground

 

M.a.a 

Spontaneous

I feel like my life isnt where I want it to be

I have a checklist of things I'm supposed to do and I cross them off as the others appear

But I want to break free.

I want to write my own things on the list
I want to be spontaneous 

Let's jump on a train and run run run away
And we can kiss until we cant remember our names
I'll meet you at the court house and marry you today

M.a.a.

Smartest

They say that the smartest people are most depressed and that's the saddest thing.

That the more you understand the world the more you want to leave.

M.a.a 

Broken People

Us broken people have the urge to mend anything around us broken

But a broken person can only put someone else back together as much as they are whole.

You need to fix yourself before you can truly help others

Believe me I would know

It's better to break her heart then ruin her soul

M.a.a